On Children and My Negative Positivity

I, generally and figuratively speaking, weep for mankind. I hope and strive (more ardently and actively in the future, ideally) for its betterment. If not an end to its sufferings, a greater understanding of why we suffer, of the ways in which we inflict suffering upon ourselves, so that we may at least lessen it. Yet---I fucking hate people. The mob of them. The ridiculous things they immerse themselves in. I’m not one of those who walks around saying shit like, “I just wanna send peace, love and good vibes out to everybody”, or “The children are the light of the Earth.”

Truth is, I really can’t stand kids. I think they’re pretty fucking annoying, and I think that speaks more to my capacity to deal with them and the amount of patience I have for them than it does the actual nature of children. Based on my experience with them, I think they talk too fucking much about shit that doesn’t matter at all. They require way too much attention and selflessness. They can be downright cunty; so much so that, when my nephew decides to throw a tantrum in the middle of the mall and scream a single phrase for over an hour straight, I thank whatever powers that be that his dad is there. Because if I couldn’t fucking walk away, I don’t know what would have happened. 

But then, there are those times. Those magical, epiphany-filled moments. I’ll ask him a question or we’ll be mid conversation, and he’ll just make an observation, a simple and direct reflection, as kids are wont to do, and sticks of dynamite explode in my head. Either this is the world’s smartest 6 year old, or we (people, in general) give far less credit to these children than due. Children allow us a glimpse at the human being gaining understanding and knowledge of self in the purest form. Depending on the age, they haven’t necessarily been taught to suppress very many parts of their nature, simply because they haven’t been around long enough. That’s why they’re so good at being little cunts and so adept at masterfully making each other feel like shit. They haven’t developed a sense that, “This is wrong”, or that, “This could seriously fuck this person up in the future, what I’m doing to them.” They’re acting mostly on some primordial presence. And everything they take in is so wondrous to them. Children are these mythical little dwarfs who can piss you off one second and just as easily teach you something about the nature of yourself with their next sentence. I envy the little creatures. Wish I could throw on my kid filter sometimes, or rather, take off my adult one. Become a little miseducated.

They’re still fucking annoying though.